Semper Paratus (mostly)
Semper Paratus (mostly)
  1. Reasons Why We're Best Friends..
    • Him: *hits me with door*
    • Me: *pouts* Why are you so mean to me?
    • Him: Well, that's how we work. I'm the only one who can hurt you, and you're the only one who can make me better.
  2. I’m just so angry.

    I remember, for years I didn’t know how to be angry. I should have let that be because now that I’ve found it, it hits me all the time. And it’s still just at myself for most of it. 

  3. Funny. Every time

    I think I’m doing better. 

    Turns out that I’m not. 

  4. I went to the Renaissance Faire in Tuxedo Park, NY today with three of my favorite boys. I’d never been to the Ren Faire before. It was phenomenal.

  5. Actual lumberjack princess. 
Self confidence at 3000% today (for once) so hey look at my face. 

    Actual lumberjack princess. 

    Self confidence at 3000% today (for once) so hey look at my face. 

  6. It is a Thursday. There are two types of people on campus. 

    1) Those who went out and got drunk

    2) Those who went to the midnight cereal bar in the student center

    And then there’s me and Michael, who drank and then went for cereal. 

  7. I’m trying really hard not to hit a low point so soon in the semester, keeping busy and all, but I feel it coming. 

    I need someone to kiss me on the forehead and tell me they’re lucky to have me in their life. I want to be cuddled until I fall asleep one night, so I can take off the “protector” hat for a few hours. 

    Why am I already exhausted?

  8. Anxiety is exhausting. Anxiety is debilitating. Anxiety is frustrating and difficult to explain and I’m so so tired of having this weight on my chest all the time — making it harder to breathe, making my heart race over nothing important at 3am, stacking up my pile of responsibilities and then incapacitating me for hours at a time to the point where I literally can’t get out of bed for no reason other than “I can’t right now,” which, let me tell ya, goes over really well with people who can’t relate.

  9. I bought a Sharknado snapback today. With my hair this short (I just got it cut), in a muscle shirt, with all my makeup rubbed off from a long day, it makes me look a little androgynous I think. That’s satisfying. Not sure why that’s satisfying. I usually end up wishing I was more stereotypically feminine looking. Who knows. Gender identity & expression is vast & confusing and I just accept it for what it is.

  10. I’m glad I’ll be back at college in a week from today.

    I’m going to miss my grandmother terribly, but my grandfather can go fuck himself.

    Everything I say is wrong, or I’m lying, or I’m being impatient, or too disrespectful, or picking on him, or some other crock of shit. I can’t open my mouth to say three words without him being shitty to me and it’s kind of miserable. He doesn’t want me here and I know it. It’s not my fault my grandmother loves me 3000x more than him. Maybe if he wasn’t such a shitty person he wouldn’t have so much to be jealous of.

  11. Multiple orgasms: hands down best thing about being female. Ugh.

  12. combinmypocket:

    Dear diary,

    I wish that I were as cool as my friend Boyscout. She’s so awesome, and pretty, and funny, and great. Like, golly gee wilikers. It’s astounding. (Time is fleeting!) I try to drown her a lot but it’s mostly ‘cause I’m overwhelmed by having such a great best friend. I love her more than…

    good 2 kno

  13. Official list of supplies to bring to sleepovers.

    Official list of supplies to bring to sleepovers.

  14. Name: Boyscout
    Nickname:  Bunyscout, Boysprout, Boscov, Biscuits
    Location: NJ
    Age: 20
    Height: 5’8.5”

    Any pets: Lots of cats, chickens, guinea hens, fish
    Favorite thing about yourself: My passion 
    Worst habit: Letting anxiety get the best of me
    Fun fact: I had a panic attack while meeting Arthur Darvill and he told me “oh don’t do that!”

    Identity, Sexuality & Personality

    Gender identity: Cisgender female 
    Sexual preference: Heteroflexible 
    Romantic preference: Heteroromantic 
    Relationship status: Desperate Single
    Myers/Briggs type: ENFP
    Hogwarts house: Gryffindor 

    Routine

    "Early Bird" or "Night Owl": Night Owl
    Morning routine: Sleeping until it’s not morning anymore, preferably 
    Bath or shower: Shower
    First thought in a morning: Do I have to get up yet?
    Last thought before falling asleep at night: Probably about someone I care about

    School/Work

    Do you work or are you a student: Student
    Where do you work/study: Montclair State University
    What do you do: Film Major, Lavender Leader for the LGBTQ Center on campus
    Where do you see yourself in 5 years: I honestly couldn’t tell you

    Habits (Do you … )

    Drink: I’ve been known to indulge.
    Smoke: Cigarettes happen sometimes, but not anywhere near often enough for me to own my own
    Do Drugs: Absolutely not.
    Exercise: Does theatre count? How about masturbation? 
    Have a go-to comfort food: Mac & cheese. Milkshakes.
    Have a nervous habit: Probably a bunch of them, but I don’t really notice them.

    What is your favorite … ?

    Physical quality (in yourself): I like my smile a lot (ironically, since I hate my teeth)
    In Others: Shoulders/arms (in boys), eyes/lips (in girls)
    Mental/emotional quality (in yourself): Sense of humor, extreme sense of empathy
    Food: Chicken, pasta, milkshakes, gummie bears. 
    Artist/Band/Group: Artic Monkeys currently  
    Author/Poet: Joss Whedon/Russel T Davies (TV), Orson Scott Card/John Green (novels), David Foster Wallace, F. Scott Fitzgerald…  
    TV Show: Doctor Who
    Actor/Actress: Scarlet Johansson, David Tennant, Andrew Garfield, RDJ, Karen Gillan, Billie Piper, Zooey Deschanel

  15. More than a little tipsy, starved for affection, and quite sexually frustrated.

    Just another day.

© veils and visions