Semper Paratus (mostly)
Semper Paratus (mostly)
  1. I think this is the first time in my life I’ve ever felt like “confident” could begin to be used to describe me. It’s one a.m., I’m in my pajamas with messy hair and smudged makeup, and I think I look pretty cute. I don’t know how I got here but I’m proud.

    I think this is the first time in my life I’ve ever felt like “confident” could begin to be used to describe me. It’s one a.m., I’m in my pajamas with messy hair and smudged makeup, and I think I look pretty cute. I don’t know how I got here but I’m proud.

  2. I had two people text me today asking if I was around to talk because they were having anxiety and didn’t know who else they could talk to. You have no idea how happy that makes me. I’m so extremely grateful and proud to be someone that people think they can rely on for something so personal. 

  3. How many times should you unsuccessfully attempt to flirt with someone before conceding that they probably aren’t interested and giving up? 

  4. I’ve been feeling really confident lately /knocks on wood.

    I don’t know if it’s just from faking it, and it rubbing off, or what, but I’m so not complaining.

  5. I am a naturally flirty person, but it’s usually in a joking way. That being said, I don’t know how to make it clear when I’m ACTUALLY flirting with someone. I feel like no one takes me seriously. I don’t know how to fix it. Ugh. 

    Struggle. 

  6. How dost one go about the casual sex thing? 

    I’ve done friends-with-benefits before, but never on purpose. That’s the kind of thing I’ve always just stumbled into. Like, suddenly there’s kissing and nudity and wow I’m so okay with this. I’ve never had to do the planning out and pursuing part before and it’s got me all nervous.

    I’ve got a target boy. Just need a plan, then the mission is a go.

    //buys all the secret agent things from the toy aisle 

  7. Reasons Why We're Best Friends..
    • Him: *hits me with door*
    • Me: *pouts* Why are you so mean to me?
    • Him: Well, that's how we work. I'm the only one who can hurt you, and you're the only one who can make me better.
  8. I’m just so angry.

    I remember, for years I didn’t know how to be angry. I should have let that be because now that I’ve found it, it hits me all the time. And it’s still just at myself for most of it. 

  9. Funny. Every time

    I think I’m doing better. 

    Turns out that I’m not. 

  10. I went to the Renaissance Faire in Tuxedo Park, NY today with three of my favorite boys. I’d never been to the Ren Faire before. It was phenomenal.

  11. Actual lumberjack princess. 
Self confidence at 3000% today (for once) so hey look at my face. 

    Actual lumberjack princess. 

    Self confidence at 3000% today (for once) so hey look at my face. 

  12. It is a Thursday. There are two types of people on campus. 

    1) Those who went out and got drunk

    2) Those who went to the midnight cereal bar in the student center

    And then there’s me and Michael, who drank and then went for cereal. 

  13. I’m trying really hard not to hit a low point so soon in the semester, keeping busy and all, but I feel it coming. 

    I need someone to kiss me on the forehead and tell me they’re lucky to have me in their life. I want to be cuddled until I fall asleep one night, so I can take off the “protector” hat for a few hours. 

    Why am I already exhausted?

  14. Anxiety is exhausting. Anxiety is debilitating. Anxiety is frustrating and difficult to explain and I’m so so tired of having this weight on my chest all the time — making it harder to breathe, making my heart race over nothing important at 3am, stacking up my pile of responsibilities and then incapacitating me for hours at a time to the point where I literally can’t get out of bed for no reason other than “I can’t right now,” which, let me tell ya, goes over really well with people who can’t relate.

  15. I bought a Sharknado snapback today. With my hair this short (I just got it cut), in a muscle shirt, with all my makeup rubbed off from a long day, it makes me look a little androgynous I think. That’s satisfying. Not sure why that’s satisfying. I usually end up wishing I was more stereotypically feminine looking. Who knows. Gender identity & expression is vast & confusing and I just accept it for what it is.

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